ABOUT TRACI
“What am I all about?”

Hi!  I’m Traci Elliott and I help women over 40 embrace their midlife crisis and rock out their bad selves.  I’m a Triple-Certified Life and Weight-Loss Coach with Martha Beck and Brooke Castillo with some serious ninja-like empowerment tools.

I’m also a loving wife and mother to two teenage daughters, an avid cyclist, runner, downhill skier, equestrian and all around adrenaline junkie.  Can you tell? 

But my #1 passion is helping women create their own badass life – once and for all.  

And midlife is the perfect time to do it.

Too many have been standing on the sidelines, staying small, cheering everyone else on, while ignoring their own hopes and dreams.  It’s time to do this.  It’s time to get what you really want.  What you really…..need.

  • more clarity and focus
  • more vitality and strength
  • more love and passion
  • more money and freedom
  • more meaning and growth
  • and more damn FUN and adventure!

I’ve spent 25 years helping people transform their dreams into reality.  If you’re ready to do away with excuses and finally start creating an amazing life……..NOW is the time.   You’re worth it.   

It took a major scare for me to finally realize it.

 

MY STORY

In 2014, I was told I had a large, dense mass during a mammogram. 

Yah, that kind of mass.

My first thought?  “Boy, what a cliche’.  Of course.  I’m a woman and I’m just over 40.”

I thought about all the typical stuff….

What about my kids?  My husband?  My mom?

What about my business?  How was I going to serve my clients?

What didn’t  I ask? 

What about…..me?  What am I going to do for me?  How am I going to care for myself”?

This was pretty typical.  Not that I was last on the list.  I wasn’t ON the list.

I never thought of myself first.  And if I did, it was never in a loving, compassionate way. 

Unfortunately, it was mostly in a “you’re never enough” way.

I always thought of everyone first.  But, isn’t that pretty typical of us women?  I thought of all the ways I could barrel through this new development without affecting anyone else’s life.   How could I downplay this?  How could I downplay myself so I wouldn’t bother anyone?

I could still raise my kids in between chemo, serve my clients, keep bread on the table, but wear really beautiful scarves around my head with tattooed eyebrows and lash extensions so no one would have to be uncomfortable

Maybe I could figure out a way not to be seen as needy, sick, tired or ugly.  

Oh, and BTW?  That was the conversation with myself in the first 2 minutes after receiving the news.

CRAZY, RIGHT?! 

What’s really ironic is…..

I was actually waiting for it.  I was waiting for that “other shoe to drop”.

I had had tumors before in my early twenties.  I knew it was only a matter of time until they reared their ugly head again.

Was I a pessimist?

Pretty much.  I’d spent a lifetime of being disappointed.  Abuse, assault, toxic relationships, miscarriages, isolation, loneliness, depression….you name it.  I figure out a way to bring it into my life.

I was living in a chronic state of malaise.  I already felt a little dead inside…..I could handle this.

I was ready to roll over and take the kick in the kidneys life was giving me.

“Poor me.”

And there it was again.  That two-word mantra.  And I believed it.  How many times had I said that?  Too many.

CUE THE AWAKENING

Sitting outside the radiologist’s office, feeling the victim yet one more time, I had a flash of clarity.

I had this thought…..”What if this is it? 

What if I had pissed away my entire life taking what was given, asking for little, living in compliance, making horrible choices and then complaining about it to everyone that would listen. 

I may not have created this lump, but I was creating the rest of the shit in my life with every choice I made. 

I chose to stay in those relationships. 

I chose to buffer with food, alcohol, shopping, over-exercising and all the striving. 

I chose everything.  And for everything I didn’t choose, like the miscarriage and assault, I was choosing how I reacted to it. 

When was I going to stop being a victim?  When was I going to choose differently?

How could I have been so cruel to myself?

The answer wasn’t pretty.

I was a perfectionist.  Perfection was a big fluffy suit I to wore to cover up all my scars and faults.

I thought once I could achieve it, it could protect me from what life had been throwing at me and what I thought life would just keep bringing me.

But a suit it wasn’t.  It didn’t protect me from shit…….except living an authentic life on my own terms.  

PERFECTIONISTS ARE MISERABLE PEOPLE.  

They NEVER get what they want.  They make themselves miserable and everyone else around them miserable.

I was constantly striving for perfect.  The perfect body.  The perfect house.  The perfect business.  And it didn’t stop there.  I wanted perfect for everyone else too.  My kids needed to be happy all the time or I had failed.  My clients had to be 100% happy all the time or I had failed. 

And my poor husband had to make me happy all the time or he failed. 

Nobody was conspiring with me.  I always felt misunderstood, over-sensitive and disappointed. 

I projected all my self-loathing out onto the world.  

And instead of taking charge of my own life and giving myself exactly what I needed….which was love…..I was a tyrant and my own worst enemy.

I WAS TIRED OF LIVING THAT WAY

What if this was it?  I had spent the first half of my life being someone that was the exact opposite of who I wanted to be?

I was chronically 20 lbs overweight (because I would exercise for hours, eat like a monk and then, of course, go off the rails on the weekends).

I drank wine to tolerate myself AND cure my boredom with my life (which left me hungover and crabby).

I overspent money on shit I didn’t need (which put me in a revolving cycle of having to work at a business I didn’t like to pay for it all).

I ruined my marriage by constantly striving for Perfect (and not being able to settle for less).

But most importantly?

I ruined my relationship with myself.

I was the meanest to her.

So, after a few more tests.  I got some great news.  It was a “false-positive”.

I was given another chance.  Another chance to be the woman I wanted to be.  The woman I knew I could be.

I wasn’t going to just let life happen to me anymore.

I was going to live it on purpose.

I was going to love myself no matter what.  No matter what I weighed, how happy (or sad) I made everyone else or if there was peeling paint on the porch.

I was going to NEVER be an asshole to myself or anyone else again.  AND THAT’S WHEN IT ALL STARTED TO CHANGE…..

CUE THE MIDLIFE CRISIS

To change yourself from sadistic perfectionist to self-love queen was not an easy journey.

There’s been MANY setbacks along the way.  I’m about 8 years in and I’m still workin’ on it.

But my life now?  AMAZING.

I lost the weight by eating whole, nourishing foods when hungry and stopping when satisfied.

I stopped over-drinking and started enjoying a glass of wine once in awhile instead of needing  it.

I stopped buying useless shit and learned to love what I have and be grateful for it.

I simplified my obligations and found more time to explore my world and have some damn FUN.

I stopped over-exercising and found exciting new ways OUTSIDE IN THE SUN to stay fit, instead of killing myself in the gym.

I left my old, toxic relationships behind and found the love of my life.

And, finally, just this year, I stopped doing work I didn’t love and found my calling.

But most importantly…..I found me.

Now let’s find you.

MY STORY

In 2014, I was told I had a large, dense mass during a mammogram. 

Yah, that kind of mass.

My first thought?  “Boy, what a cliche’.  Of course.  I’m a woman and I’m just over 40.”

I thought about all the typical stuff….

What about my kids?  My husband?  My mom?

What about my business?  How was I going to serve my clients?

What didn’t  I ask? 

What about…..me?  What am I going to do for me?  How am I going to care for myself”?

This was pretty typical.  Not that I was last on the list.  I wasn’t ON the list.

I never thought of myself first.  And if I did, it was never in a loving, compassionate way. 

Unfortunately, it was mostly in a “you’re never enough” way.

I always thought of everyone first.  But, isn’t that pretty typical of us women?  I thought of all the ways I could barrel through this new development without affecting anyone else’s life.   How could I downplay this?  How could I downplay myself so I wouldn’t bother anyone?

I could still raise my kids in between chemo, serve my clients, keep bread on the table, but wear really beautiful scarves around my head with tattooed eyebrows and lash extensions so no one would have to be uncomfortable

Maybe I could figure out a way not to be seen as needy, sick, tired or ugly.  

Oh, and BTW?  That was the conversation with myself in the first 2 minutes after receiving the news.

CRAZY, RIGHT?! 

What’s really ironic is…..

I was actually waiting for it.  I was waiting for that “other shoe to drop”.

I had had tumors before in my early twenties.  I knew it was only a matter of time until they reared their ugly head again.

Was I a pessimist?

Pretty much.  I’d spent a lifetime of being disappointed.  Abuse, assault, toxic relationships, miscarriages, isolation, loneliness, depression….you name it.  I figure out a way to bring it into my life.

I was living in a chronic state of malaise.  I already felt a little dead inside…..I could handle this.

I was ready to roll over and take the kick in the kidneys life was giving me.

“Poor me.”

And there it was again.  That two-word mantra.  And I believed it.  How many times had I said that?  Too many.

CUE THE AWAKENING

Sitting outside the radiologist’s office, feeling the victim yet one more time, I had a flash of clarity.

I had this thought…..”What if this is it? 

What if I had pissed away my entire life taking what was given, asking for little, living in compliance, making horrible choices and then complaining about it to everyone that would listen. 

I may not have created this lump, but I was creating the rest of the shit in my life with every choice I made. 

I chose to stay in those relationships. 

I chose to buffer with food, alcohol, shopping, over-exercising and all the striving. 

I chose everything.  And for everything I didn’t choose, like the miscarriage and assault, I was choosing how I reacted to it. 

When was I going to stop being a victim?  When was I going to choose differently?

How could I have been so cruel to myself?

The answer wasn’t pretty.

I was a perfectionist.  Perfection was a big fluffy suit I to wore to cover up all my scars and faults.

I thought once I could achieve it, it could protect me from what life had been throwing at me and what I thought life would just keep bringing me.

But a suit it wasn’t.  It didn’t protect me from shit…….except living an authentic life on my own terms.  

PERFECTIONISTS ARE MISERABLE PEOPLE.  

They NEVER get what they want.  They make themselves miserable and everyone else around them miserable.

I was constantly striving for perfect.  The perfect body.  The perfect house.  The perfect business.  And it didn’t stop there.  I wanted perfect for everyone else too.  My kids needed to be happy all the time or I had failed.  My clients had to be 100% happy all the time or I had failed. 

And my poor husband had to make me happy all the time or he failed. 

Nobody was conspiring with me.  I always felt misunderstood, over-sensitive and disappointed. 

I projected all my self-loathing out onto the world.  

And instead of taking charge of my own life and giving myself exactly what I needed….which was love…..I was a tyrant and my own worst enemy.

I WAS TIRED OF LIVING THAT WAY

What if this was it?  I had spent the first half of my life being someone that was the exact opposite of who I wanted to be?

I was chronically 20 lbs overweight (because I would exercise for hours, eat like a monk and then, of course, go off the rails on the weekends).

I drank wine to tolerate myself AND cure my boredom with my life (which left me hungover and crabby).

I overspent money on shit I didn’t need (which put me in a revolving cycle of having to work at a business I didn’t like to pay for it all).

I ruined my marriage by constantly striving for Perfect (and not being able to settle for less).

But most importantly?

I ruined my relationship with myself.

I was the meanest to her.

So, after a few more tests.  I got some great news.  It was a “false-positive”.

I was given another chance.  Another chance to be the woman I wanted to be.  The woman I knew I could be.

I wasn’t going to just let life happen to me anymore.

I was going to live it on purpose.

I was going to love myself no matter what.  No matter what I weighed, how happy (or sad) I made everyone else or if there was peeling paint on the porch.

I was going to NEVER be an asshole to myself or anyone else again.  AND THAT’S WHEN IT ALL STARTED TO CHANGE…..

CUE THE MIDLIFE CRISIS

To change yourself from sadistic perfectionist to self-love queen was not an easy journey.

There’s been MANY setbacks along the way.  I’m about 8 years in and I’m still workin’ on it.

But my life now?  AMAZING.

I lost the weight by eating whole, nourishing foods when hungry and stopping when satisfied.

I stopped over-drinking and started enjoying a glass of wine once in awhile instead of needing  it.

I stopped buying useless shit and learned to love what I have and be grateful for it.

I simplified my obligations and found more time to explore my world and have some damn FUN.

I stopped over-exercising and found exciting new ways OUTSIDE IN THE SUN to stay fit, instead of killing myself in the gym.

I left my old, toxic relationships behind and found the love of my life.

And, finally, just this year, I stopped doing work I didn’t love and found my calling.

But most importantly…..I found me.

Now let’s find you.

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